Being an Artist Is Hard (But Worth It)

There’s this looming feeling that cast itself over me, everytime after a disapointment of sorts. Let’s say for example, recently I became sick and missed out on an opportunity to vendor at an event. That event could’ve brought in some montary gain but also new audiance. Because I missed out, I feel myself crashing out. Making art as a business is a whole new level of exisitance that I really had to lean into.
I know I’m a good artist and I try my best every day to show up and do what needs to be done to be successful, at least from my knowledge because there’s always room to improve and I don’t know shit.
I have responsiblities like everyone else and need to make a certain amount each month to stay afloat. I try my best at promoting my work, and try my best at doing all the jobs to make sure everything is running smoothly.
Heck, I’m open to trying to news all the time to see what sticks. But sometimes, especially on social media, it feels so damn hard. When I make an effort to share my work and the feedback is grim.
My work does so much better in person, reasons why I love doing markets.
But I really want to build an online stream where my work reaches out to people enough they want to support.
I don’t know how to say it. I enjoy making art, I enjoy creating all of the time. I explore all types of mediums and that what keeps me sane.
I’m not sure if I’m connecting with my audiance. Like, I have my people who get it, and these aren’t friends but supporters of my work, but then there’s everyone else.
There’s this preassure to comform but then there’s advice to be unique, be yourself, but I feel being myself isn’t good enough?
But I like me, and I know those around me like me. lol
I know what I like is cool because I like it and I’m searching for my people. I’m not sure what the disconnect is when it comes to independant artist and main stream media. Like people don’t want to support us until we’re with some big company.

I don’t know, that was a rant. ooowee.
All I’m saying is, it’s fucking hard to be an artist, to work all day everyday not only on creating but building it as a business and wearing all the hats. That at times I feel despreate because I am and I think sometimes that leaks outward into the world. I don’t want it to be, I just hope people like my work enough to support, because I would support me.
I don’t want to under value myself because it takes time and resources to create. I see that people do support other artist and sometimes I’m left with… am I even good?
What am I missing? Can I keep this up in the long run.

With all that being said, I look at all I’ve accomplish this year and its my first year back being an artist full time. I’m doing pretty good, I forget that even though I’m not starting at zero, I’m basically am.

I have to give myself grace and continue to believe in myself. I just want to be stable enough just to create. I don’t need a lot.

This has to be one of my most vulnerable blogs. I have a lot of fear when it comes to making money with my art. I try not to let it get the best of me or fear me out of doing this, because I know I can.
I’ve spoken about this before, but this is where I feel myself pulling away and giving up. I’ve done this so many times before and I don’t want to do this now. I can’t. I can see it.
I see myself being an artist and making a beautiful living. Sharing my inner worlds.

If you’re feeling some what the same, just know you’re not alone. Know that this is just a wave and something to look into, be curious and try to find your way back on the path.

To be an artist is brave, and to continue doing it say a lot about what you’re align with.

I’m sharing this not only as a reminder to me but a reminder for you.
You got this, and keep going.

There’s this looming feeling that casts itself over me every time after some kind of disappointment. Like recently, I got sick and missed out on vending at an event. That event could’ve brought in some money, sure, but also new eyes on my work, new people. And because I missed it, I felt myself crash a little.

Making art as a business is this whole new level of existence I’ve had to really lean into. I know I’m a good artist, and I try my best every day to show up, to do what needs to be done to be successful, or at least what I think needs to be done, ‘cause there’s always room to grow and honestly, half the time I feel like I don’t know shit.

Like everyone else, I have responsibilities. Bills, rent, groceries; all that. I need to make a certain amount each month just to stay afloat. I try my best to promote my work, wearing all the hats, keeping things running smoothly. Heck, I’m always open to trying new things, seeing what sticks. But sometimes, especially on social media, it just feels so damn hard.

I’ll post my art, something I love, and the feedback is… flat. Crickets. It’s wild, because my work does so much better in person. That’s why I love doing markets, the energy, the people, the real reactions. But I want to build something online too, a steady stream, a way for my work to reach people who really connect with it.

I don’t even know how to say it. I just love making art. I love creating all the time. I explore all types of mediums, and that’s what keeps me sane. But sometimes I wonder if I’m really connecting with my audience. I have my people, the ones who get it, who genuinely support my work (and they’re not friends, they’re supporters), but then there’s everyone else.

There’s this pressure to conform, but also advice to “just be yourself.” And like… which is it? Because sometimes being myself doesn’t feel like enough. But then again, I like me. I know the people around me like me too, lol. I think what I like is cool because I like it. I’m just searching for my people. Still, I can’t help but wonder why independent artists have such a hard time getting the same kind of love as when someone’s “backed” by a big company. Like, people don’t want to support us until we’re already validated by something else.

I don’t know. That was a rant. Oowee.

All I’m saying is, it’s fucking hard to be an artist. To work all day, every day, not just creating but also building a business and wearing every damn hat. Sometimes I feel desperate because, well, I am. And I think that energy leaks out sometimes, even when I don’t mean it to. I just hope people like my work enough to support it, because I would support me.

I don’t want to undervalue myself. It takes time and resources to create. I see people supporting other artists and I’m like… am I even good? What am I missing? Can I really keep this up long-term?

But then I look back at everything I’ve accomplished this year, and this being my first year back as a full-time artist, and honestly? I’m doing pretty damn good. I forget sometimes that even though I’m not starting from zero, I kinda am.

I have to give myself grace and keep believing in myself. I just want to be stable enough to create. That’s all. I don’t need a lot.

This might be one of my most vulnerable blogs. I have a lot of fear when it comes to making money with my art. I try not to let it swallow me or scare me away from what I know I’m meant to do. I’ve been here before, this moment where I start to pull away, to give up. But I can’t do that now. I won’t. Because I can see it. I can see myself as an artist, living beautifully, sharing my inner worlds with others.

If you’re feeling the same way, just know you’re not alone. This is just a wave, something to be curious about, something to move through until you find your way back.

To be an artist is brave. To keep going says so much about what you’re aligned with.

I’m sharing this not only as a reminder to myself, but as a reminder for you too.
You got this. Keep going.