When Drawing Drains Me

I wasn’t sure how to start this blog post. I haven’t written one since the group art show. Back then, I was feeling good, like I was heading in the right direction and I even started a new project. But while working on it, I started feeling tired, drained, and unmotivated, even though I was also having growth spurts and feeling proud of what I was creating. Burnt out? Maybe.

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, but when I draw for too long, I get this tired feeling that starts in my lower back, creeps up to my shoulders, and then settles in my head. It’s like this slow drain of energy. This isn’t new, it’s one of the main reasons I explore so many different creative outlets. Staying in one place too long makes me feel awful.

But this past week, I was so excited about this collection of illustrations that I dedicated a whole week to it. By Wednesday, though, I wanted to give it all up. A voice kept telling me I was wasting time, that I had to work faster, finish sooner, have something to show. And, my goodness, this only happens when I’m drawing. Crochet? I can do it for hours and feel nothing but peace. But drawing? Holy cow, it really messes with me and makes me question everything.

I know this voice well. It’s the same one that’s pushed me to quit so many times before. I just haven’t sat with it this long in a while. So, to combat it, I’m saying it out loud, acknowledging it, so it doesn’t hold power over me. I know it comes from an old version of myself, and that energy just needs to move through and out. I also have to remind myself that good things take time, that I need to be gentle with my process, and that it’s okay if my work takes longer than usual.

If any of this resonates with you, I hope you take it easy on yourself. Whatever you’re feeling you’re not alone. We’re all trying to figure our shit out, and sometimes it just takes longer than we think. And that’s okay. Whatever you do, don’t give up.