Building

Hello hello!

How have you been? Good? Great? How’s your summer been thus far? Ooooooo, I love to hear that! As for me, this summer has been dreamy. Actually, this year so far has been one of the best since before the pandemic.

Time can feel warped to me, memories clashing and feelings interwoven, creating this both massive yet subtle past. Like, the residency and my solo show feel like years ago, even though they happened this year! Like, what? Excuse me?!?

I also did a handful of markets, attended a bunch of amazing events, and met so many people. I can’t believe so much has already happened that I forget how much I’ve accomplished. Sometimes, I sit here in my room/studio and feel like I’ve done nothing, or not enough.

Sometimes I can relate that to the routines I promise myself and I guess even to you that have fallen off, like writing blogs is one of them.

I didn’t even write a blog about my solo show. The last blog was about the second workshop I did with the residency at BX Arts Factory, which even you didn’t know by now, that non- profit no longer exists!

I didn’t mention the markets, the projects, and just haven’t been updating at all.

I have been on Instagram sharing my life, but not in a way that I feel really shares my thoughts and feelings about life itself.

Once again, I’m getting back on the horse, as they say, and trying to blog more about my artist journey.

And to be honest, I haven’t been creating as much as I’d like. Sometimes I get so many ideas, I just let them float away into the creative bank, and maybe someone out there has already made something with it.

Everything is a muscle, I guess, and I just need to use it daily to build that memory, to make this into something that becomes second nature.

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt that way? If you’ve read some of my blogs or followed me long enough, you’ll learn this one thing about me: I will always continue to try, even if it takes me years to get to a place where I feel comfortable. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s a part of my journey, and I can’t be upset at how my brain works. I just need to learn to be better with my tools, be patient with myself, and just keep trying.

I turned 38 in August, and I feel both different and the same. My brain has been something I’ve been trying to figure out for a very long time, and I guess it’s just the way I work. I go into something hoping it will stick because I can see the benefits, and then I’ll drop it, just to watch the time go by and realize, “Wow, I haven’t done that thing in months. I really should get back into it.”

Anyways, I just wanted to let y’all know I’m still building, I’m still creating, and even if it’s at a slower pace than others, I’m still being true to myself and learning to work with myself, too.

I hope this little blog and my little journey encourage you or give you permission to give yourself grace on whatever journey you’re on.

Until next time.